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A Dirty Kind of Clean

Joel hated returning home from touring the country for one very simple reason: cleaning. He knew it was inevitable that his girlfriend Jenna would be tearing their new home apart from top to bottom, as Thanksgiving was quickly approaching and this would be their first time hosting the holiday for both of their families. That meant that Jenna's infamous Aunt Edna would be eating green bean casserole in this dining room and evaluating the sheen of the wooden floor paneling with her professional eye; and that meant that Jenna was freaking out big time. Worse yet was the thought that, for the first time ever, his mother would be tasting Jenna's cooking. No doubt, there would be comments made about how he was 'losing weight' and not being 'properly fed', and then within a matter of minutes his sweet, gentle mother would have his docile, overly self-conscious girlfriend in tears. Great. Suddenly cleaning seemed like the least of his worries.

“I can't seem to get this stain off the floor here,” Jenna was crying as she scrubbed the aforementioned wooden paneling in their dining room. She was on hands and knees in her baggy pink sweatpants, alternating between scrubbing and wiping her nose with the back of her hand. “What am I going to do if I can't get this stain out?”

Joel stood with his tattooed arms crossed over his chest and evaluated the situation. Having just woken up was not aiding his case; in fact, he could barely think straight. He took a deep breath and let out a long yawn. “What kind of stain is it?”

“It's not a stain,” Jenna sniffled. “It's wax.”

“You said it was a stain,” Joel raised an eyebrow and tried to clear the sleep from his brain. “How did we get wax on the floor in the dining room?”

Jenna glanced up from the corner of her brown eyes and a smirk formed across her saddened features. “We were christening the table, remember?”

He remembered this all too well. It was only their third night in the house and Jenna had cooked a special meal for them, which they had eaten in veritable silence at the huge mahogany table in this room. When the silence had become unbearable, he had volunteered to do the dishes. Jenna had stood up and begged him to stay. Somewhere in the interim, he had ended up pouring hot candle wax over her porcelain skin and their brand new silk tablecloth. And apparently, the floor as well. Shit. “How do we get wax off the floor?”

“That's what I asked you,” Jenna frowned as she continued to scrub. “I got most of it up, you can't even really tell that it was there. But I know it was there and Aunt Edna the fucking bloodhound will figure it out in a split-second.”

Joel nodded and craned his neck to see the spot that Jenna was scrubbing. The truth was, you could not see anything there. He shrugged. “It looks good enough for me. I mean, it's only a small spot, Jen. Not a big deal.”

“What if your mother sees it?” Jenna questioned, wide-eyed. “She already thinks that I don't feed you.”

“She what?” he stammered with a laugh.

“She told me that I don't feed you enough,” she lowered her eyes and stared at the floor. She had stopped scrubbing and was now sitting with her legs crossed and her back propped against the blood red wall. Nervously, she wiped her soapy hands off on her pink pants. “When your mom called the other day to ask if she should bring a dessert, she told me that you're getting too thin and therefore, I must not be feeding you.”

“Well, that's my mom for you,” he shrugged.

“She said that low caloric intake leads to low sperm production, and that she was hoping for some grandchildren before she died,” Jenna glanced up through her eyelashes while pouting.

“WHAT?” Joel choked on a scream.

Jenna giggled. “Yep, that's what she said. So apparently, we're not going to have children because I'm starving you.”

Joel considered this thought with a frown. “That's just plain stupid.” And yes, it was. He loved his mother more than anything, but this was just plain stupidity through and through. He hadn't lost a single pound of weight in the three years that he had been with Jenna. And forget the entire sperm count discussion. That was just something that your mother should not worry about.

Jenna shrugged. “I'm just worried that if the house isn't clean, she'll tell me that I'm killing you with dust exposure and that I should be arrested for premeditated murder.”

“Don't be like that,” he sighed. “It's Thanksgiving, Jen. We're supposed to be happy.” He took a deep breath and sat beside her on the floor, bringing her small body to rest in his lap as he stroked her long black hair gently. “I love you. This is supposed to be the best time of our lives. We have this beautiful new house, we're telling our families that we're engaged, and we're showing them that-”

Jenna sighed. “That's another problem, baby.”

“What?” Joel cocked an eyebrow and met her gaze.

“My dad refuses to come to dinner,” Jenna lowered her gaze to her wet t-shirt. “He said that he doesn't even want to meet you, because he already knows that you're not good enough for me.”

Joel formed a surprised “Oh,” as he began massaging a slow circle on Jenna's back. He fiddled with her bra strap nervously and sighed. “Well, we can't force him to come.”

“I know,” she sniffled softly. “But it's important to me that he meet you. I was really hoping that, you know, that he'd change his mind about the whole thing and give us his approval.”

Joel nodded. Yes. He understood that Jenna came from a traditional, somewhat old-fashioned family in which the bride's father had to give the groom-to-be his permission to marry his daughter. Sadly, Joel had not asked permission before he proposed, and that had set Jenna's father off on a rampage. And having a wife-to-be trapped between loyalty to her father and her family and to her husband-to-be was never a good situation. Dr. Phil here they come.

“I just want it to be a nice Thanksgiving,” Jenna was sobbing. “I want everyone to get along. I want our families to like each other. And I want this house to be spotless.”

Joel laughed into her shoulder as he continued to play with her hair. “Sweetheart, you can't get the house totally spotless. It's impossible. But would it help you if I helped with the cleaning?”

Jenna nodded slowly. “That would definitely help me.”

Joel placed a soft kiss to her lips and grinned. “What room should I start in?”

Jenna considered this. There was a total disaster in the computer room thanks to Joel's clothing company, DCMA. A box of new t-shirts, stickers and baseball caps had arrived and Joel had tossed everything everywhere, tornado style. That needed to be organized before anyone could even consider cleaning that room. Their bedroom was also a bit of a nightmare, as all of Joel's laundry from the tour had been thrown into a corner and was now attracting every fly and gnat in the greater Los Angeles area. Worst of all, was their bathroom however. That was a story unto itself. She sighed. “I need you to organize the office, pick up your laundry in the bedroom, and clean our bathroom as best as you can.”

Joel saluted her and smirked. “Ay ay captain.”

The next few hours were filled with cleaning. Jenna managed to vacuum the living room, shine all of the glass in that room, as well as dust every inch of every piece of furniture that they owned. After he had completed his assigned tasks, Joel had taken to scrubbing the kitchen floor. Jenna had offered her appreciation by hooting lewdly while watching him on his hands and knees. This had made for a frisky lunch break wherein they ate very little food, and mostly sucked on one another.

Now lunch was over. They were all cleaned up, so to speak, and Jenna was standing in the shower stall of their guest bathroom. She was wearing a ridiculously miniscule silver bikini and holding a scrubbing brush in her right hand and a bottle of some orange cleaning fluid in the other. Joel grinned. “What on earth are you planning to do?”

Jenna rolled her eyes, and dramatically sprayed the tiles around the overhead faucet. She placed the sponge to the tiles and began scrubbing in a circular pattern. “I am cleaning the skanky shower, Joel. Do you really want your little sister and her new boyfriend to be witness to all of this filth?”

Joel considered this for a moment and shrugged. “Sarah's an adult. I'm sure she's seen mold and mildew before.”

“But not at our house,” Jenna pouted as she worked her way down the walls of the shower. “I don't want to skank your family out. Or mine, for that matter.”

Joel nodded. This made sense. But one thing made no sense whatsoever. “Why are you cleaning the shower in a bikini?”

Jenna turned her amused eyes on him. Truth was, she looked amazing her the bathing suit. And her right nipple had popped strategically out of place and was giving him a show. She smirked as she tucked it back in. “Because, stupid, I don't want to ruin my clothing!”

“Are you going to scrub the toilet in that too?” he laughed as he watched her work. This wasn't so bad, actually. Watching her scrub in an itty bitty silver bikini could become his new favorite pastime. He grinned. “If so, let me know. I want to come watch.”

“You're a pervert,” Jenna laughed as she tossed a soapy sponge at him. It smacked him in the chest, leaving a giant wet mark on his white t-shirt. Jenna smirked. “Hey, wet t-shirt boy. You want to help out?”

Joel blushed. “Sure?”

“Can you scrub that half?” she pointed toward the shower space behind her. “If you do, we'll get done twice as fast. Then I can actually cook us a home-made meal tonight.”

“Fine,” Joel laughed as he stepped out of his camouflage shorts and tossed his now wet t-shirt out of the room. “But I'm cleaning in my underwear. I've seen what you can do with those cleaning products,” he waved a hand and smirked. “Dirty, dirty girl!”

She watched him climb into the shower with her clad in only his Elmo boxers, which had been a gift from her last Christmas. She loved Elmo, but loved him best when he was hugging the bulge of her boyfriend's crotch. “I love Elmo,” she sighed dreamily before turning back to her work.

Joel grinned and began spraying the tiles with the orange cleaner. “This shit smells great.”

“It's a little secret that my mom told me about,” Jenna boasted proudly. “It cleans everything! I love it.”

“More than you love me?” he pouted as he began to mimic her circular scrubbing of the tiles. Cleaning the shower wasn't so horrible, after all. Of course, he couldn't watch her move in her itty bitty bikini with his back to her. So he relocated to a spot beside her and sprayed her down with the orange shit. “Mmm,” he sniffed her chest. “You smell like breakfast.”

Jenna stared at her wet chest and then up into his mischievous brown eyes. “Are you getting kinky with me, Mr. Madden?”

“Yes I am,” he winked back and sprayed more of the cleaner onto her exposed skin. “I hope this shit is safe. How do we clean it off?”

“We do this,” Jenna smirked cruelly as she reached over and turned the handle on the faucet. The overhead shower burst to life, covering them both in a torrent of water. Jenna wiggled in place and giggled. “That's why I wore this.”

The temperature of the water heated quickly. Joel wiggled his eyebrows and grabbed his soaking wet girlfriend. “You feisty minx!”

“What are you going to do about it?” Jenna challenged as she tossed her sponge playfully at his shoulder. Joel responded by dropping his sponge and reaching around her, pulling her close. “Oh, I like when you punish me, Mr. Madden,” Jenna giggled as their lips touched gently. She reached her arms around to his back and clung to him as they kissed. His kisses were always passionate, and she always lost herself in his touch.

As Joel placed soft kisses across her collarbone, he began to remove her bikini top. It was so small there was virtually no point to the fabric other than to tease him. And tease him it had. He wanted his girlfriend right now. Wanted to place his lips on her breasts and bring that dreamy coo from her lips. He wanted to taste her skin. And she tasted like oranges and bathroom cleaner. “Blech!” he coughed and spat.

Jenna erupted into laughter. “That's what you get for spraying your girlfriend.”

“Oh, I intend to spray my girlfriend,” Joel winked as he lifted her into his arms and stepped out of the shower. “I'm going to spray my girlfriend good alright.”

Jenna snorted. “Turn off the shower, stud bucket. Then you can spray your girlfriend.”

He did as he was commanded, setting Jenna down onto her feet and then reaching into the stall to turn the shower off. He turned back around and found Jenna missing. “Where are you at?” he called.

“I'm dirtying up the guest room,” Jenna called from inside the bedroom.

And she was. She was sprawled out naked across the red silk sheets of the guest bed. The fairness of her skin against the richness of the red made her look fragile, like a small little doll that he just had to break. He smirked as he crawled onto the bed and straddled her body. “You're worried about mold and mildew in the shower but you want to fuck in the same bed that my little sister is going to sleep in?”

“I'll change the sheets,” Jenna winked.

“How kind of you,” Joel laughed as he brought his lips down to meet Jenna's left nipple. “And I hope you'll also change the bedspread.”

“I'll do as much laundry as necessary,” Jenna cooed. “Now shut up and fuck me.”

He hadn't needed the go ahead. He was already licking her body softly, leaving a trail of pleasure across her soft skin. She still smelled faintly of oranges and chemical solvents, but he ignored this and continued with his quest to bring her the utmost pleasure. He grinned as he slipped his boxers off and tossed them across the room. “You'll also need to wash Elmo. I believe I may of spooged on him when I was watching you scrub in that bikini.”

“That's sexy,” Jenna rolled her eyes as she placed her hands onto his tattooed hips and tugged him between her legs. “Joel, I need you,” she urged as she grabbed a hold of his erection with her right hand and guided him toward her entrance. “I need you so bad right now. Fuck me.”

“Slow down,” he whispered softly, kissing her shoulder and nibbling on her earlobe. “I want this to last.”

Jenna moaned softly as she worked just the tip of his penis inside her body. “No, Joel,” she pleaded. “I have to fuck you now. Watching you scrub the kitchen floor has had me worked up all day.”

Joel grinned at this confession. “I should help you clean more often, huh?”

Jenna tossed her head back as he worked his length inside her. She grinned. “Mmm, yes. I love it when you scrub the floor on your hands and knees like a bitch. The way your little ass shakes when you scrub, and the way the muscles of your arms flex as you-”

“The way your tits bounce as you scrub the shower,” Joel interrupted with a laugh. “Fuck, that was hot. The way your nipple kept popping out of that stupid bikini. And then you'd get soap on it and blush.”

“Mmm, it feels so good,” Jenna moaned back.

Joel opened his eyes and stared down into her pleasure-filled face for a moment. She looked so perfectly beautiful like this, even though he knew she would disagree. She hadn't showered today, and her hair was up in a ponytail. Ponytail days were never beauty days for Jenna, this he knew. But in his eyes, everyday was a beauty day for her. He smiled and placed a soft kiss on her lips. “I love you, baby,” he grinned as he pulled out of her body. “And I will help you clean this house any day.”

Jenna sighed blissfully. “Oh good, baby, because now we need to clean the toilet.”

“How romantic,” Joel laughed as he collapsed beside her in the guest bed. “And don't forget to wash this shit,” he gestured toward the blankets surrounding them and a small stain beside Jenna. “Nothing would ruin Thanksgiving like knowing that my little sister is sleeping in my cum stain.”

Jenna nuzzled her face into his tattooed chest and inhaled his scent. He always smelled like something woodsy and masculine. She loved it and it made her feel so safe. She sighed. “Maybe if we leave the stain, your mother can sleep in here. Then she'll know that I didn't kill your sperm count by starving you to death.”

Joel groaned. “Oh fuck. What are we going to do?”

“I don't know,” Jenna shrugged as she rolled over and stared at the dusty ceiling. “But tomorrow I have to clean our bathroom,” she winked. “I'll be wearing the silver bikini again. You're going to help me, right?”

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